This time next year…

New Year 2026 will look so different to now: there’s no escaping it. But other than a lot more love and a lot less sleep, what other changes can you expect to see?

Does having a baby really change your life?

You know that your home, sleep patterns and bank balance will change. But there are more important changes you need to know about… 

One year from now, something will make you reflect. You’ll look back over the last 365 days of your life and say something along the lines of: ‘wow, I’ve come a long way!” 

And it’s unlikely to be because of the big, obvious things. More often than not, the changes that really make a difference to the way we live and the people we are, are so subtle that we don't notice them happening. They’re often things that we just do rather than decide to do. For example…

• the time of day we get up and go to bed

• the way we spend our weekends or free time

• the music and TV shows we listen to

• the friends we see most often

• our working lives and patterns

Here’s the tricky bit though: all too often these changes are interpreted as a failing.

Put simply, I call bullshit on that. You’re not failing or lost. You’re transforming & evolving.

My daughter loves looking at photo albums; often we look at pictures from before she was born and she asks me who the people are and what they’re doing or why we were doing them. She’s fascinated by a world that didn’t include her or her sister, and I love reminding myself of the carefree existence I occupied.

As much as I love these sessions, they can feel slightly uncomfortable. Not because I didn’t like my past life or I don’t like my life now (I wouldn’t swap either for all the caffeinated drinks in Starbucks), but because the ‘me’ in those photos feels like a close distant relative: someone I know and love, but who I no longer feel connected with.

And that’s weird. Because it is me… but also it’s not.  

Just like every parent who has come before me, and everyone that will come after, I have evolved into the mum-version of myself.

Every single event in my pregnancies, births and every day since, has moulded me into this person. Her prorities, hopes, fears and general interests are the result of the lives my children have lived. As a result I have changed from the carefree girl I once was. But this is the exact form of myself I need to be right now. And you’ll get there too.

Why will I feel different when I’ve got a baby?

This is simple: metamorphosis is a natural part of human existence…

1.Your brain is actually changing.

Pregnancy and parenthood make does not make us stupid. Your memory and ‘intellect’ will change but that’s because your brain’s grey matter is decreasing to ‘hone’ the skills of empathy and social cognition. These are the skills you need most to parent well.

So yes, at some point this year you might put the teabags in the fridge and completely forget what raspberries are called, but it’s just proof that you’re going to be an amazing parent.

2. Your hormones shift your priorities

When your baby is born, hormones flood your body. Prolactin boosts the maternal, mothering instincts of birthing parents to create firm attachment and focus with the newborn baby. Other caregivers undergo changes too: close contact with the infant reduces aggression-based testosterone, higher levels of hormones associated with love and bonding.

Hormones act different for everyone; while you might not feel immediately overwhelming love, you’re likely to be obsessed with your newborn’s wellbeing and cuteness. This isn’t you being soft: it’s your hormones making sure you become the best parent you can be.

3. You’re responsible now…

Before we have a baby (or add another one to the brood), we live in a ‘bubble’ that we know how to manage. Of course you are responsible for yourself - but you are you and are aware of your wants and preferences. You know how to keep you safe and happy. And then your new baby lands. You don’t know their preferences, their needs or priorities and yet you still have to keep them safe and happy. The bubble has burst with this unpredictablility.

Figuring this all out and rebuilding your bubble of security will take time: it’s totally likely that the next 365 days will feel chaotic as you do that, and that may well change how you think, feel and behave. Stress does that to people. But if you think it’s going to tip the balance, get help before it does.

4. Your baby doesn’t understand your routines…  

Babies are entirely ego-centric: they eat, sleep, wake, play and cry in response to their own needs as and when they appear. As a good and caring parent, you’ll be totally primed to respond with their needs taking precedence over absolutely anything else. But more often than not, these will not sync with your pre-baby schedule and that can create conflicts of interest: lunchtime might now be nap time; bedtime is now feeding time etc…

This time next year, therefore, your day-to-day life will probably look very different. But that’s not because you’re lazy or soft or letting your baby rule your life. It’s because you’ll be a parent meeting your baby’s every-changing needs, to help them form good attachments and thrive. End of.

5. Your relationships will feel different … 

When a new baby lands earthside, it’s not unheard of for previously perfect couples to start fighting. Or for new mothers to start questioning their own previously perfect mothers. Or for friends who were once so close, to just stop speaking. That’s not because the baby has sabotaged anything, but because the process of becoming a parent (the hormones, the lifestyle, the sleep deprivation and the brain changes) puts other things under stress too.

So this time next year, it’s totally likely that you’ll feel frustrated, stressed out by or envious of people who previously never created this response. That’s not a sign that you’re broken, but that you’re changing. Tensions or conflicts between friends, families and couples as they transition into their new post-baby-selves is really common; the key to resolving them is not to create right-wrong labels, but to find the time to talk and relate to each other’s experiences, to connect and support each other. 

So, to conclude…

There’s this idea that, when we have a baby, we give birth and snap back to where we were before. A ferw weeks later we emerge in our pre-pregnancy jeans in our old pub haunts, just with a pram. That is not the case.

As with everything birth and baby, we cannot say exactly how it’s going to go. But knowledge is power: understanding the realities of birth & postpartum on a physical, hormonal, social and cultural level will give you the tools to help understand and navigate the changes as and when they happen.

And that’s where antenatal classes, doula support and power hours come in; each of these give you the knowledge and practical skills you need to face the future with a smile.

So, if you’re staring at the year ahead feeling nervous about what’s coming, get in touch & we’ll find a package that works for you.