Postnatal doula: a maid, a nanny or something else entirely…

A maid will help keep your home in order. A nanny will sort the small human.

But a postnatal doula: well we’re different. We will care for you, and for VERY good reason…

Postpartum, the postnatal period, the baby bubble: it all refers to the same thing. It’s that magical time filled with baby snuggles, adorable onesies and a whole heap of cute little photos. 

But let’s not forget the chaos: the sleepless nights, the unfathomable laundry and the late night Google scrolls in a desperate search for answers to questions like ‘can a newborn sleep too much?’ 

Who benefits from a postnatal doula?

The truth is that anyone and everyone can benefit from a postnatal doula, but we best serve those that feel themselves needing one.

Whether its a niggling temptation, or a full blown craving, if your brain is telling you that a professional helping hand would be worth it, its normally right.

Picture this: you're exhausted, overwhelmed, and barely have time to brush your teeth, let alone figure out how to soothe your crying baby. You’re bouncing from piece of advice to piece of advice, with everyone saying (with every ounce of their excitedly, interested and well-meaning spirit)  how well solution X, Y and Z worked for them. And you’re hungry. 

It feels a lot. An awful lot. 

And then there’s a gentle knock at the door, and a calmly-smiling face quietly creeps in, holding a fresh loaf of bread and a pint of milk. They make you a cup of tea, load that pile of laundry into the machine, and ask you what you’re thinking right now.    

Your shoulders relax. Your brain sighs in relief. You pause and begin to process the last 48 hours.  

Having someone by your side who has not just experienced the adjustment from person to parent, but who has studied it, researched it and supported it, can be a total game changer.  

Are postnatal doulas worth it?

There’s no point pretending that cost isn’t an issue: supporting you through this transition is our profession and, in most cases, a fee is charged.

But, as with a birth doula, the value of a doula does not lie in what they do against their cost but how they make you feel.

And for one simple reason: oxytocin.

The first few months of a baby’s life, and for yours as a parent, are biologically focused on three things: bonding, attachment and feeding. Hormones play an enormous part in all of these, particularly oxytocin.

And just as with birth, oxytocin production relies on how you feel. When you feel calm, safe, respected and loved, you will produce oxytocin. But if those conditions are threatened, adrenaline and cortisol are produced instead and these restrict the production of oxytocin. 

The role of a postnatal doula is to create these feelings of safety, of love, of respect, of calm, not because we have nothing better to do, or because we are fluffy-headed-joy-seekers who don’t believe in sadness. We do it because we believe that the first year of family life is as important as pregnancy and birth, and you deserve the best start. 

What does a postnatal doula do?

A client of mine once said that ‘to many, this would seem like a luxury… but to me this is a necessity’. She hit the nail on the head. 

For those who are lucky enough to have a knowledgeable, up-to-date, empathetic, supportive and non-judgemental support system on hand whenever needed, a postnatal doula would be a luxury.

But how many of us, in this modern world, really have that? 

If you’re in the postnatal period, your (understandably) absolutely focused on your baby: that’s biology at work. But just because your priority is your baby’s needs, that doesn’t mean your needs disappear. A postnatal doula like me is trained, and experienced, at reading your cues to understand those needs, and then working quickly, subtly and flexibly to meet them to keep you feeling as calm, cared for and confident as possible. And we do this in five main ways…

1. Emotional Support:

The postpartum rollercoaster of emotions is hard, often unexpected and absolutely no joke. From feeling on top of the world one minute to utterly overwhelmed the next, it's a wild ride. A postnatal doula is like having your own personal cheerleader, therapist, and shoulder to cry on all rolled into one. They're there to listen, offer a non-judgmental ear, and remind you that you're doing an amazing job, even when you feel like you're barely keeping it together.

2. Practical Assistance:

You can prepare as much as you like, but for so many people bringing your sweet little bundle of joy home can bring a realisation that you have no idea (or at least no confident idea) what you're doing. Postnatal doulas are trained in baby-care but will not take the reins: our role is to inform & support you to find your own stride. And while you’re doing that, we’ll do the washing up so you can really focus on bonding with your little one. 

3. Feeding Support:

Along with sleep, this basic human necessity along with all it’s possible infant options is a big cause of anxiety and challenges for new parents. Postnatal doulas have the training and the knowledge bank to help you navigate the ups-and-downs of whichever feeding path you choose to follow. 

4. Partner Involvement:

A postnatal doula does not replace anyone; if anything, they help the people around you to understand the best ways to support you. From teaching them how to swaddle, guiding them through the maze of hormone-fuelled mood swings, your doula will empower your partner to step up and be the amazing parent you both know they can be.

5. Continuity of Care:

Last but not least, one of the best things about having a postnatal doula is the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have continuous support in those early weeks and months of parenthood. Unlike your busy doctor or midwife who might only see you for a brief check-up, your doula is there for you whenever you need them, offering personalised care and guidance every step of the way.

The truth is that so many people say how much they’d have wanted a postnatal doula… once they’ve had their baby.

But in the moment, during their pregnancy or their postnatal period, they grit their teeth and crack on. Even when they feel overwhelmed. Even when they’re struggling. Because that’s what we do, right? That shows the world how strong and independent and noble we are. It’s what we’ve been taught to do.

Sorry, but I call bullshit on that.

Parenthood is hard, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. Just as with my birth doula services, I truly believe that everyone who has even the slightest inkling that they might like a doula, should be able to easily access one. That’s why my packages are scaled, both in time and cost, to make my services as accessible as possible.  

Sound good? Check out my birth and postnatal doula packages here, or book in a curiosity call to find out more.