However you’re organising that list of baby-must-have items, I bet it’s a thing of beauty. Mine was. But how would you feel if I told you that most of the ‘must-have’ items we bought actually made my parenting life harder?

So, when it came to bringing a new bundle of joy into the world, I dived head-first into the exciting world of baby gear. My husband and I got a lot of our kit second hand (as I would thoroughly recommend all parents-to-be should), but that didn’t stop me from spending hours researching the prams, cots, car seats and play arches that were about to fill our home (and car and shed…). 

This is a big rite of passage, and a necessity in many cases. Babies DO need stuff to keep them safe, moving, fed and warm. But with so much on the market, with such massively varying costs, how do you know which essentials are the right essentials? And which are a massive waste of time and money. 

Of course, hindsight is a magical thing. But I look back on that process now and I want to give myself a good talking to because I made so many big mistakes on that baby-list. 

Off I merrily went and began researching. Google and all those mass marketing websites told me certain items were good: the ‘easiest’ all-terrain pram, the best value car seat, the most eco-friendly play arch. Dutifully, I took this all onboard and went bargain-sourcing on Facebook Marketplace and Vinted.       

Yeah, I tapped into the world of consumer glory and it was a rite of passage on the path to parenthood that I thoroughly enjoyed. So what was wrong with that? 

Nothing, except that as I was making my baby-stuff-spreadsheet, my mind was becoming a little too… well… idealised. 

I sank deep into the beautiful catalogue world of consumerist parenting and forgot about the fact that me and my husband were human beings with lifestyles and habits and preferences that were unique to us… and this was something that MadeforMum’s was not taking into account (despite the apt name). 

When our baby arrived, she absolutely had everything she needed. But to me, it all felt a bit like I’d done something wrong. 

That beautifully comfy pram? She loved it but its massive wheels trawled so much mud into my house… It resented cleaning the floor. 

That spacious cot? She hated it and only ever slept in it three times because she preferred being with us… I tortured myself trying to get her in there before I relented and co-slept. 

The really useful bouncer chair with zebras on it? Great, except when she was in it the bloody thing was too heavy for me to lift so move her from room to room was next to impossible. That really didn’t help the cabin fever during winter. 

It’s common knowledge that babies are pretty helpless when they first land earthside; they need help with basically everything (except crying and pooping) and so there are some things you’ll want to buy in advance to make sure you’re prepared. 

But when deciding what your essentials are, rather than launching onto Google and Pinterest (like me), try this instead… 

1. Think categories, not items: before you create your list of things, think about the groups of ‘helpful stuff’ your baby will need: items to help them move, feed them, keep them warm, keep them entertained, keep them safe etc… 

2. Create priorities for each category based on your lifestyle: do you go hill-walking a lot? Or live in a city with loads of stairs and steps? if so, is a pram the most practical item or would a good quality sling be more useful? Do you plan on breastfeeding? If so, do you need a breast pump or could that be ordered on 1-day delivery later on if it’s needed?  

3. Speak to the people that matter: I am assuming you have some friends, and I am also assuming they’ve had babies and are a bit like you… so before you ask Google or that Baby Center forum which bouncer is the best, why not ask them? They’re most likely to give a suggestion that takes you as an individual into account anyway, right? 

And THEN start the second-hand-hunt for mega baby-bargains.

Will these three steps guarantee you’ll like and use every baby-essential that you buy? Possibly not. But it might.

Whatever the outcome though, these steps will definitely make sure that your baby essentials list is relevant to you and the parenting life you intend to lead when your beautiful baby arrives. 

And with all the obvious essentials sorted, you’ll have much more headspace to consider the things you hadn’t even thought of as being essential…