Humans are mammals; we birth best when we feel safe and secure. But humans all have different definitions of safe spaces which can make it tricky when it comes to choosing where to give birth. 

Absolutely! In the UK, it is your legal right to choose where you give birth. The Human Rights Convention states it, the NICE guidelines state it, and therefore you should be asked by your midwife where you would like to give birth when the time comes. 

But in reality, the decision isn’t always simple: there are trends and norms and social pressures to contend with. For many of us, when we imagine our baby’s birth, we do so within the frame we’ve been fed by the media, or our friends and family for years and years: a hospital delivery suite, surrounded by doctors with our legs in stirrups.

But times are changing, and more and more people are slowly starting to, not necessarily reject exactly but, question this ‘normal’ version of birth and choosing your place of birth is less ‘alternative’  and increasingly seen as a normal part of your pregnancy journey. 

As a cat chooses a dark hidden space, and an elephant chooses a secluded spot not far from her herd, you must also find your safe space. 

But for so many of us, that’s the first hurdle. It means we have to understand our choices, think about the different risks and benefits of all and then look inward - trust our gut. 

This can all be a bit alien and uncomfortable for people who are used to making their decisions based on other’s reviews. But Tripadvisor doesn’t exist for birth, and while a million people will tell you what a godawful experience they had in one place, there will be another million to tell you how amazing it was. 

Nope: only you will be able to know where the best place to have your baby is for you. But to make that decision, you need to know your options and the facts around them. So here you are… 

There are four places you can choose to give birth in the UK… 

1. In theatre (Caesarean): yes this is an actual choice! If you want it to be. If the idea of vaginal delivery is not your cup of tea, for whatever reason, you can request to give birth surgically and your midwife and team of doctors are required to respect that wish. 

2. In a delivery suite / labour ward: the traditional hospital set-up most people think of when they think about babies coming into the world, these spaces differ in size and resources from hospital to hospital. Made up of multiple private birth rooms, these wards are staffed by a team of midwives and doctors and accommodate low and high risk births.

3. In a midwife led birth unit / birth centre: a newer form of birth space, these have risen in popularity in recent years. Standing independently, or sitting as part of a hospital maternity ward, birth centres bridge the gap between hospital and home. With private rooms designed to be more home-like and more in tune with active, physiological labour and many feature birth pools.These spaces are only staffed by midwives and are not always recommended for people with higher risk factors. .  

4. At home / a home-like setting: babies have been born at home for millenia (it’s only in the last 200 years that we’ve started giving birth in hospitals). In recent years, particularly since Covid, it’s slowly becoming a more popular and less taboo choice again. If you choose to have midwives present, they will be able to support and care for you in your home and you can hire birth pools to use if you’d like.     

As a doula, it often surprises people when they find out that I had both of my babies in our local hospital. I chose it because I felt safe there. But that comes with an asterisk.

I’d heard the horror stories - from my own family mainly - and watched One Born Every Minute enough to feel like I’d be safest there. And I am absolutely convinced of my choice: for the person I was back then, I know it was right for me and I stick by my guns.  But knowing what I know now, I do wonder if my perspective had been different if I’d known all the facts.

Had I been access to the latest research statistics, been able to explore the benefits and risks of each option from an unbiased, non-horror story perspective, would my assessment of ‘safe’ have been different. Would my experience of birth, particularly for my first very difficult and long labour, have been different? 

Who knows. But I do know one thing: knowing all of that would have removed the fear of doing the wrong thing.

And that’s why I deliver birth planning workshops: not because I want to tell you what to do, but because I want you to make a truly informed choice about what your definition of a safe space looks like. 

My online birth workshops run every month and gives you everything you need to start creating a vision of birth that reflects you and your priorities:  

• Will I make you write a birth plan? Nope. 

• Will I tell you what to do for the best? Nope. 

• Will I feed you biased information to guide you towards a birth plan that fits my gameplan, not yours? Nope. 

What I will do, over the course of a relaxed 2.5 hours, is help you to explore every choice and option you have for birth from an unbiased, research led perspective. This, alongside an easy-to-use workbook, will give you the tools to start making the decisions that’ll help you to create a birth that reflects you in all its forms. 

Sound good? Why not take a look….